Archive for January, 2000
Gangster No. 1
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| Taglines: | 1: It’s not who you know, it’s who you kill. |
| Plot Summary: | A middle-aged crime boss (Malcolm McDowell) smugly reflects back from 1999, narrating the brutality which made him triumphant - and feared. As an unnamed young hood (played by Paul Bettany) in Swinging 60’s London, he seemed to ape his mod boss Freddie Mays (David Thewlis), and do anything for him. But his narration exposes all-consuming envy: of Freddie’s supremacy, and especially his tall bird (Saffron Burrows). The baby shark develops his viciousness and backstabbing, scheming to be Gangster No. 1. |
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Shadow Hours
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| Taglines: | 1: Just when you think you’ve seen it all you realize you haven’t seen a thing |
| Plot Summary: | Michael is a recovering alcoholic/drug user. Back on the wagon, he’s now responsible for a young, beautiful, and pregnant wife. He’s working the graveyard shift at a gas station to support his new family, but the job drives him crazy. Then a wealthy stranger, Stuart, enters Michael’s life, taking Michael through a tour of the seediest and slimiest parts of L.A. underbelly. Is Stuart leading Michael to hell, or salvation? |
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Christmas in South Park
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| Plot Summary: | Howdy Ho! Mr. Hankey, everybody’s favorite piece of poo, is here to show us his line up of holly jolly Christmas songs! There’s S.D. Kluger singing the Mr. Hankey theme, then we’ve got Mr. Mackey singing Carol of the Bells, Eric Cartman singing “O Holy Night”, Jesus Christ and Santa Claus singing a medley of Christmas jingles, and even Mr. Garrison wishes all the religions of the world a Merry fucking Christmas! It really is a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Krazy Kwanza, and all the rest! |
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How to Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog
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| Taglines: | 1: One man’s pet is another man’s peeve. |
| Plot Summary: | Shy, chain-smoking, insomniac Peter McGowan is an L.A. playwright with a string of hits that preceded his current ten years of failed productions. His mother-in-law is sinking into senility, a stranger is meandering the neighborhood claiming to be him, neighbors have a new dog that barks all night; his wife wants to have a child, and he does not: he’s become impotent. He’s working on a new play when a single mom moves in next door with her 8-year-old daughter. His wife immediately invites the girl into the McGowan household. Will this child stir Peter’s paternal feelings? Will she also help him get his dialogue right? And what of his doppelganger and the neighbor’s dog? |
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Shaft
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| Taglines: | 1: Still the man, any questions? |
| Plot Summary: | Cool and deadly NYPD detective John Shaft arrests Walter Wade, Jr. in a racially-motivated slaying. The eye witness disappears, Wade jumps bail for Switzerland, and Shaft is livid. Two years later, Wade returns to face trial, confident his father’s money and influence (and racial politics) guarantee an innocent verdict. Shaft looks hard for the witness, so Wade wants someone to kill her. He turns to a ghetto drug king, Peoples Hernandez, who’s willing to kill for money, use Wade as a route to rich drug customers, and shaft Shaft. Can Shaft find the witness, convince her to testify, and shepherd her through the hail of bullets that Peoples is sure to let fly? |
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Watcher, The
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| Taglines: | 1: Don’t go home alone. 2: Someone wants to play. |
| Plot Summary: | A detective (James Spader) tracking a serial killer (Keanu Reeves) gives up all hope of solving the crimes and moves to another city. After he’s settled in the old acquaintance he makes himself known. The serial killer has resurrected and resumes sending him pictures of his next victim. |
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Shanghai Noon
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| Taglines: | 1: The Classic Western Gets A Kick In The Pants. 2: The first kung-fu western ever 3: The old west meets the far east |
| Plot Summary: | A 19th century Western. Chon Wang is a clumsy Imperial Guard to the Emperor of China. When Princess Pei Pei is kidnapped from the Forbidden City, Wang feels personally responsible and insists on joining the guards sent to rescue the Princess, who has been whisked away to the United States. In Nevada and hot on the trail of the kidnappers, Wang is separated from the group and soon finds himself an unlikely partner with Roy O’Bannon, a small time robber with delusions of grandeur. Together, the two forge onto one misadventure after another. |
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Opportunists, The
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| Taglines: | 1: Crime pays. |
| Plot Summary: | Vic is a struggling auto mechanic with a safe-cracking past and a lot of debt. His girlfriend runs a bar and offers to loan him the money she’s saved for remodeling, but Vic is reluctant to take it. When a long-lost cousin from Ireland shows up on his doorstep, the two team up for one last heist. |
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